Over 10 years of being a Stepmom, I have been judged a lot. I have been stared at a lot. I have been asked a lot. Here are some questions that I encountered and how I respond to them. Initially, I was taken aback at questions until this hesitation turned into amusement until the answers just came naturally as being the stepmom unfolded naturally as well.
Where’s their mom?
Before, I’d like to answer: Really? Is it any of your business?
Now, I say: Hmm, she has her own family somewhere in _____________.
How come he doesn’t look like you?
Before, I’d like to answer: Doesn’t he? What are you insinuating?
Now, I say: He looks like his dad.
How old were you when you gave birth to him?
Before, I’d like to answer: Why don’t you ask me what you REALLY want to ask me?
Now, I say: I didn’t give birth to him. I’m his Stepmom.
Is it hard? Buti kaya mo. (Good you can take it?)
Before, I’d like to answer: Try it.
Now I say: It’s not as hard as you think if there’a a lot of love that goes with it.
How did that happen?
Before, I’d like to answer: You really want the whole story?
Now I say: It just happened and before I know it, everything falls into the right place.
Most though, don’t dare ask the questions but when a window opens where I can share my stepmom stories, I can talk about it graciously. Like any parenting experience, my stories are a gift of its own. The rich experience of being a stepmom is worth sharing. It has taught me to be gracious, to have a big heart (bigger than I thought I had) and to love all the way without any expectations.